I don't want to drop out of school. The title is misleading. I want to drop out of my program. My initial thought process when I was choosing a graduate program was that I didn't want to be boxed into one thing. English is great and there are three big camps that fall into it: English literature, Composition and Rhetoric, and Creative Writing (which arguably could be its own entity). I chose neither of the three even though my undergraduate degree is in English. Instead, I chose Liberal Studies because I thought it was giving me the freedom to study what I wanted and what I am interested and I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue a Master's in English.
Now, I am only in week 6 of school--of the program--of the semester--of grad school--who is to say that I am not writing it off too quickly? I think I am, but I think I needed this to realize that my home is back with all the nerds in the English camp. I am so uninterested in my classes, particularly one, and it just doesn't make my heart happy or make me want to learn the way my English classes do. I feel like my skillset is not being utilized in what I am doing right now. I am reading and writing about other civilizations and cultures that I am not interested and this I not what I want to study in the long run. My skillset could be used somewhere else where it is useful and where I can showcase my talent and hone my skills.
How did I realize this? I desperately want to drop my seminar that I am taking. The content bores me, it doesn't challenge me the way I want to be challenged, even though I have an A in the class right now, I am struggling--it takes me so much longer than necessary to do the work that is needed to be done, and frankly, I don't want to do the work. This seminar is a core class needed for my program though, if I drop it, I'll have to take it again in the future, albeit, different (hopefully) content--but even then, I don't want to take a class about Early Civilizations and evaluate Italian art--it is jut not what I want to study--and that's when I realized, I am in the wrong program!
In a way, I am annoyed with myself for giving myself the trouble of having to switch programs. Now I have to go to the advisor of the new program and take to them about it and then go to the graduate school dean and complete paperwork. It's easier in a sense because I am switching programs within my school and it's my first semester (better now than later because that would really screw things up) instead of starting over at a new program at a new school where the credits I am taking now would be worthless. Let me just say this, either way if I switch, I am still going to drop the class.
The plan is now to meet with the advisor for the Composition and Rhetoric program and hopefully all will go well.
Friday, February 21, 2020
How can I want to drop out already?
Labels:
college,
grad school,
graduate school,
Oklahoma,
school,
university
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