All's well that ends well

Graduate school, might I say is harder than I expected, in different ways than I thought it was. Now, I never underestimated the work that comes with the daunting phrase "grad school" because I was well aware that the course work was heavy. That being said, the "hard" is different in the way that it's not was I was expecting.

To articulate this thought... I knew there was going to be tons of reading each week for each class, but the articles are so dense that I am reading that I have to read them several times before I can understand what is trying to be said. Another thing, is I know participation is required in every class, but there is so much more that is expected of a graduate student. You have to talk more, you have to be leading class discussions and you have to have an opinion about everything on your subjective feelings or analysis of something--that you may not even care about! I just sometimes am not quick enough on my feet to blurt out everything that I am thinking at the moment--I'll remember or come up with something neat to say when the class is long over.

 I feel as if it's my imposter syndrome coming to get me. These tiny thoughts come to creep in my mind, "you don't deserve to be here" or "you were accepted into this program by mistake"  and they come on a daily basis at that. However, I have come to the realization or rather--the acceptance that I am not an expert on anything--and that's okay! I feel like there is this higher standard that people put graduate students on--at least that is how I felt as an undergrad with grads in my classes, and I feel the same way now. Like I said, the imposter syndrome. I've narrowed this feeling to the fact that for some reason, it was my belief that once someone has obtained their bachelor's, they should be all knowing, therefore smarter than those who have not earned for their degree. However, this proves not to be true as I am just as lost as I was before. No matter-- because all I can do is try my best, which is what I have been doing thus far in the semester because at the moment I have all A's and we shall try to keep it this way--especially since the ideology of "C's get degrees" does not exist in grad school.

Let's forget about all of these unpleasantries that I brought up. Onto bigger and better news! I am employed now! My birthday wish came true--if anyone--doubtfully has read in a post or two below. I'm a graduate assistant for the office of student engagement. I will say, I wish it was a teaching position, but there were none open in the departments that I am qualified for. Nonetheless, I start next week, and I am so very excited because my boss seems amazing and also, like me, is from Texas--which is something I don't try to advertise anymore.

It's 1158pm and it's "supposed" to snow tomorrow. I, like the rest of the student body, is hoping that campus will be closed tomorrow. I, myself, especially since I have only gotten half way through my readings for my seminar, that I will have to read regardless of class being cancelled as I have to write a 1000 word response. Ah fun.